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The Journal

The archives 8/19

Sometimes you don’t find what you’re looking for, but you find exactly what you need. Inspiration doesn’t always come this the form of ability. I leave this trip disappointed, but with a realization of what I have to do. I’m miles ahead of myself and miles behind myself all at the same time. I’m beyond frustrated that I wasn’t able to create where I felt most inclined to. The photos I leave this trip with aren’t stellar by any means. But I found a little bit of myself. Something about meaninglessly traveling through desolate America lit a flame inside my being. Seeing nothing improved my vision. Meeting an idol both humbled and inspired me. I have come so far, and have so far to go. At this point its all about hours. I know I can get where I’m going, I just need to put in the effort. As Forrest said, “Have taste better than your vision and ability”. I know where I need to go. Thats in the taste. My vision is getting better, and the ability will come with time. Ceaseless effort for the next year. And the year after that. And the next five years after that. I’m on the verge of everything with nothing behind me. I think I need to get out and experience everything. I don’t know if school is where I need to be to create my ability. In the process of finding my new self, I need to leave the now behind. Of course take somethings with me, but the process of change is also the process of reinvention. Who knows where this reinvention will take place and what it will bring, but stagnating is the least beneficial thing for me to do right now. I need to push the boundaries of my comfort to find where I need to be and how I can exist. 

Forrest Smith